People will stop showing you pictures of their kids if you whisper “oh fuck yea” under your breath when you look at their photos.
judge in court: everything u say will be held against u
judge: haha case dismissed
me when the homestuck game comes out: oh, hey, I remember buying this…. I was so excited…. just a lad back then…
my child: dad what are you looking at
me: that’s right I am a father now. I don’t have time for this. c’mon kiddo let’s go play catch that’s the only game I need. I’m 47
"all gays will go to hell"
oh noooo…. what will i do… surrounded with ……. nothing ……. but other homosexuals……….. u win this round……… god
im not your little dad anymore, girl